Ok Not to Be Ok

As I began writing this post, a series of events changed my entire thought process for what I initially wanted to talk about. I have a really close friend who very recently lost her mother and now her dad is in the hospital, scrolled social media only to find another celebrity has ended their life through suicide, I’m hearing from family that some of our GenZ babies are having a level of difficulty transitioning to adulthood, and I just felt the need to pray and write.

While this time of year is supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year” with family gatherings and overall good cheer, for some this can be “the most difficult time of year”. Having dealt with severe depression at one point in my life (I'm now in the managing stage), I truly understand the emotional, stressful elements of the holidays. I would chalk some of this up to adulting, but there are kids and teenagers also dealing with a stress that we NEVER had to deal with growing up. It's ok not to be ok, as long as you don't stay there.

Ask for help. Not because you are weak. But because you want to remain strong. – Les Brown

We (Black Americans) always feel that we must be strong and “not look like what we’re going through” and that’s just not how we’re supposed to live. There is absolutely no shame in seeking help when you feel you need it. I am a strong believer in therapy…it’s definitely helped me through some very difficult times in my life and I'm better for it.

Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel. – Eleanor Brown

As I’ve prepared (as much as I can) for this holiday season, I’m learning that I’m only human and I hope that everyone reading this can take some of my coping techniques and apply them, not just to the holidays, but to everyday life.

• Choose the events you want to attend. Now, this can sometimes be hard knowing that someone will be disappointed that you can’t make it. I call it sanity! I celebrate with those who lift my spirits and have the same beliefs that I have. This is a no-negativity zone.

• Stop focusing on perfection. Things do not always go as planned. As I mentioned in previous posts, nothing is wrong with pivoting!

• Superhumans exists in Marvel/DC. Don’t try to be superhuman doing everything for everyone but yourself. Take time to self-manage, feel the feels, then focus on what makes YOU happy; reading a book, a long soak in the tub, a massage? Like Nike says “just do it”!

• Realize when your body needs restoration. Rest (physically and mentally) when you your body requires it. That “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” mantra has landed many in a hospital bed. Not getting enough rest also weakens your immune system (and not to mention, makes you look older faster!). Rest well and be the best version of yourself.

• Take care of your physical self. I know this is the season for food. I’ve fallen off with my fitness goals and I really feel it. I’m lethargic, sleepy when I should be awake and my focus is off (see how long it took me to get this post out!). Work out when you can, even if it’s just a brisk walk. The fresh air is amazing and does wonders. This also helps with resting well. I rest best when I've had a good workout!

• Ask for help and receive it. When someone genuinely cares and offers to help…take it! It could be just a shoulder to cry on or a dinner to take your mind off things for a while. A good support system is invaluable. If you are blessed enough to have one, use it.

• Seek professional help. Like I said, there is nothing wrong with talking it out with someone that can give you an unbiased opinion and look at things from a different perspective. A trained professional can help you deal with things that you’re just not ready to share with those that love you.

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot. – Michael Altshuler

These days are moving right along. Time is waiting on no one, and you know, it’s the one thing we can’t get back. Stop wasting time focusing on things that you have no control over. Put that energy into managing the things you can control and you'll be much more effective. I believe my God is always in control and as far as I’m concerned, my life is happening just the way He planned it. Once I figured that out, life became easier. I always remember to never fight the feelings, but feel them, manage them, and move from them.

I didn’t mean for this post to be “preachy”; I just felt the need to share my thoughts and hoping that in the long run, it helps someone.

Hoping everyone has a happy holiday season and I'll talk to you in 2023!!

Thanks for listening…until next time!