I Can See Clearly Now

So, I’ve never really been a fan of Wendy Williams, but yesterday, I watched her Lifetime movie for the first time. It really changed my view of her and who she is. My favorite scene was towards the end of movie when she reclaimed her life from soon to be ex-husband, Kevin, in a meeting with the Wendy show staff. Some were trying to keep her from attending that meeting, but she exited a chauffeured car, and sprinted to the station in her infamous sneakers, determined to get things back in order and under her control. Her strength and determination made me admire her. Her strength to overcome a situation that was no longer respectful, nor beneficial to her well-being...all while in the spotlight of everyone, put me on her team...she’s gained a new fan (How you doing?)! On a side note, I'm praying for her healing and that she can get back to doing what makes her happy!

Being free of my own non-beneficial relationship has been the catalyst of so many things I’m doing these days. I finally feel like I’m getting back to the old, fabulous me! Not that I wasn’t fabulous with him, but now that I’m not there anymore, I’m realizing how much I dimmed my own light to allow him to shine.

I had been so invested in the story of me and him, that I couldn’t make sense of the mess of my emotions and in my head as I was coming out of the relationship.

I realized that the mess in my head represented the mess in my home and it needed decluttering...STAT! It’s been the perfect jump-off needed to get back on track.

Now that I have been back at my house for a while, I’m in redecorating mode. It was pretty dated and needed a new look and feel! I had a sectional that I loved so much that you could barely sit on it when they took it out of here. Since I procrastinated (that’s a whole ‘nother blog post!), I had to quickly find something that was in my budget. I ended up with a sofa and a loveseat that reclined. While I loved this set, it just wasn't the look I was going for and I got rid of it. I have purchased the perfect dark gray sectional, and with my newly painted light gray walls, it’s gorgeous! Something about sectionals just appeal to my decorating style. I think it’s the minimalist in me.

Speaking of minimalism, I’ve also been purging! Those who know me personally know that I LOVE SHOES...I had approximately 170 pairs!! I had clothes that still had tags on them, purses that had never seen the light of day. Coming from a house of 2,800 square feet back to my two-bedroom cottage in the city of about 800 square feet meant I had some cleaning to do. I have found new joy in donating things that no longer fit my life and it’s something that I plan to continue. If I want a new dress or a new pair of shoes, something in my closet must be donated. If 2020 taught us anything, it definitely taught us that we do not need all of that stuff!

I think the one thing that has helped me the most during this time of reclamation is to surrender....to my feelings, my emotions, insecurities, doubts, and fears. I stopped being at war with myself and live in it, process it, and move from it. There’s something powerful in that and I acknowledge it and record it as a small win for myself!

“Courage is reclaiming your life after a devastating event robs you of your confidence and self-esteem. It is facing tomorrow with a firm resolve to reach deep within yourself to find another strength, another talent...It is taking yourself to another level of your own existence where you are once again whole, productive, special.” — Catherine Britton

I’m realizing that I’m much stronger than I ever realized I could be. In being productive in my life outcomes, I’m finding Tara again and feeling whole without the need of being connected to someone else (other than my Higher Being).

So, now that the clouds of clutter have gone and I can see clearly, I hope there are others out there reclaiming their life and on the journey of self-discovery because it is truly rewarding.

Thanks for listening…until next time!