Ex-Factor

You know…when I started this blog, it was going to be my sounding board, a way to heal, and hopefully help others along the way. And while my goal is to still sound off and help others (and of course enjoy wine), I have realized that I’m more healed than I thought I was.

Revisiting and rewriting some of my journal entries after my broken engagement showed me that I am not that person anymore and maybe I should pivot this a bit. Y'all know I talk about pivoting a lot because it shows that you're moving forward. As one of my favorite gospel songs go “My mind’s made up…no turning back. Yes, I’m happy ‘cause I’m on the right track!” and I’m definitely on the right track.

If you have noticed, all my posts have been named after some of my favorite songs (or ones that fit my narrative). When I originally thought up the name for this one, the post was going to be quite different. It was mostly going to talk about seeing your ex and being just a little satiated that they don’t look the same way they did when y’all were together...meaning they look like they may not be in the positive space they once were. Life surely has a way of changing perspective.

I typically never revisit past relationships…ever! Once I’m done, I’m pretty much done. I look at as God removed that person from my life for one reason or another and it’s always been for the best. I’m sure you can relate.

“The course of true love never runs smooth.” – William Shakespeare

Recently, I was reintroduced to a love from my past. We were young, it was complicated, and really not ready. He never disrespected me or did anything bad to me, we just simply weren’t ready. We met back up some months ago and have been moving forward non-stop. I am happier than I’ve ever been…go figure!

I’m not here to bad talk my ex-fiancé (I know that’s funny…considering our relationship helped inspire this blog), but this time go round, things are so different with my new (old) love. We are both older now and know exactly what we want. He pushes me to be the best me, we speak the same love languages, and he makes me feel more loved than I could possibly imagine. I did not know how thirsty I was for what he gives me. It has showed me how dehydrated I was and didn’t even know it because I was working so hard to make something work that was not for me.

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” – Stephen Chbosky

We both recently had broken engagements and had absolutely no idea why they did not work out. But, as I said earlier, working hard to make something work that is not for you expels unnecessary energy. Maybe God knew 1999 was not our time, but 2022 is.

"Don't get mad...get everything!" -Ivana Trump

I watched The First Wives Club the other day and this line stood out to me for different reasons than it did in the past. I always thought it was a funny line. As I heard the line come through the television, I realized that through the anger that turned into hurt that turned into healing, I am getting everything. All the happiness, love, and peace that I deserve. And while I fought what I was feeling early in our reconcilement (due to my own hang-ups), now that I have accepted the love, I can only see brighter days ahead!

Now, I’m not here to tell you to go back to an ex that was no good for you. But, if you had the chance to reconcile with an ex, who for whatever reason, became an ex for all the wrong reasons, would you do it? I did and it’s been one of the best decisions I’ve made.

Thanks for listening...until next time!